Sunday, December 18, 2011
a little bit bitter, a little bit angry...
Today, I am a little bit bitter and a little bit angry. There's so many blessed things that I have occurred to me this year, but I can't seem to get over some things. I feel like I'm a good person, and I don't deserve to be treated in bad ways. I don't deserve this. I hope that I wake up tomorrow without being resentful of people. I think I have been hurt too many times, and it just seems people think that they can step over me. I am strong. I deserve better.
Friday, October 21, 2011
it's been way too long...
God, it's been forever since I wrote. A lot has happened. A lot of GOOD has happened. I don't even know where to begin, really. Basically, I scored my dream job--Social Media Planner at an advertising agency called Initiative Media. I also went on my dream vacation to Spain. Spain was pretty amazing. There's so much that happened that I don't even think I have the ability to write about everything. I don't know why I've been so uninspired to write as of this year. I guess I've been pretty busy. Applying for jobs and having interviews while you're still working takes a lot of energy out of you.
During my Spain trip I traveled to Barcelona, Sevilla and Eivissa. I didn't care too much for Barcelona. I was very unimpressed by the unfriendliness of the Catalon people. They were very pompous and non-confrontational. I did, however, manage to meet some of the most amazing people in the Barcelona hostel called Alternative Creative Youth Home. I also got to view La Sagrada Familia. It was pretty awe-dropping. I fell in love with the small, quaint town of Sevilla. It was as if I could drop my Grandma in that town and she'd fit so perfectly and fall in love with it's simple beauty. The people were friendly and the food was great; tapas everywhere. Eivissa was also lovely; a little too much of a party town for this moment in my life, but it still was great. I somehow managed to find a high school friend who lived in Eivissa, and she showed me around. I really enjoyed her company.
What else? I guess I don't have any room to complain about this year. That's a good thing, right? I've been waiting for a good change for so long that finally receiving it was actually pretty overwhelming. Work has been pretty crazy, both my bosses quit including the girl I was shadowing leaving me with a lot of responsibility.
I might add more detail to this blog later. Although, I always say that and I never actually go through with it. I am currently sick with some weird cough. I am going to go die in my bed.
Goodnight.
During my Spain trip I traveled to Barcelona, Sevilla and Eivissa. I didn't care too much for Barcelona. I was very unimpressed by the unfriendliness of the Catalon people. They were very pompous and non-confrontational. I did, however, manage to meet some of the most amazing people in the Barcelona hostel called Alternative Creative Youth Home. I also got to view La Sagrada Familia. It was pretty awe-dropping. I fell in love with the small, quaint town of Sevilla. It was as if I could drop my Grandma in that town and she'd fit so perfectly and fall in love with it's simple beauty. The people were friendly and the food was great; tapas everywhere. Eivissa was also lovely; a little too much of a party town for this moment in my life, but it still was great. I somehow managed to find a high school friend who lived in Eivissa, and she showed me around. I really enjoyed her company.
What else? I guess I don't have any room to complain about this year. That's a good thing, right? I've been waiting for a good change for so long that finally receiving it was actually pretty overwhelming. Work has been pretty crazy, both my bosses quit including the girl I was shadowing leaving me with a lot of responsibility.
I might add more detail to this blog later. Although, I always say that and I never actually go through with it. I am currently sick with some weird cough. I am going to go die in my bed.
Goodnight.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Dreaming Stories...
So, the other day I had a dream. It wasn't even about me. It was about a little girl. It was so vivid that I woke up and had to write it down. This is the story which I will probably, hopefully, create into a book one day.
There was a girl who saw dead people, they never did anything until she met this one dead person. She thought she had a connection to this one person because he stood around, but this one dead person was bad, and he wanted to hurt her. He would send her messages in the form of secrets notes that he'd come to get her, and this could occur in her dreams where she'd never be able to get back to reality if he got control of her in her dreams.
All people have a place in their dreams. It's a garden. A garden of trees. Each tree represents a fear in their lives. Every night when we dream we sometimes end up in this garden where we re-live our secret fears. The trees attack us; depending on the fear that we're dreaming about. This is called a nightmare in reality.
In this one particular story, the dead person somehow got into her garden. The garden is typically locked and kept secret from the rest of the dream world. The dead person could now see the girl's fear and control her in reality by understanding what scares her the most. This is very dangerous. Now, every night she'd relive her nightmares more and more because the garden had been disturbed. People in her past, in these dreams, were not let loose by this ghost.
The girl told some of her best friend's what was going on, so they tried to make a plan to get her to go into her dream world and confront this ghost. She needed to kill this ghost or help him before he found out all her fears because if she didn't, she'd die.
There was a girl who saw dead people, they never did anything until she met this one dead person. She thought she had a connection to this one person because he stood around, but this one dead person was bad, and he wanted to hurt her. He would send her messages in the form of secrets notes that he'd come to get her, and this could occur in her dreams where she'd never be able to get back to reality if he got control of her in her dreams.
All people have a place in their dreams. It's a garden. A garden of trees. Each tree represents a fear in their lives. Every night when we dream we sometimes end up in this garden where we re-live our secret fears. The trees attack us; depending on the fear that we're dreaming about. This is called a nightmare in reality.
In this one particular story, the dead person somehow got into her garden. The garden is typically locked and kept secret from the rest of the dream world. The dead person could now see the girl's fear and control her in reality by understanding what scares her the most. This is very dangerous. Now, every night she'd relive her nightmares more and more because the garden had been disturbed. People in her past, in these dreams, were not let loose by this ghost.
The girl told some of her best friend's what was going on, so they tried to make a plan to get her to go into her dream world and confront this ghost. She needed to kill this ghost or help him before he found out all her fears because if she didn't, she'd die.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Me Vs. Myself
Well, it's been a while since I've written anything. I've just felt so unsatisfied with a lot of things in my life, that I'm just waiting for something amazing to happen. Maybe I shouldn't do that. Truth is, some amazing things have happened this year.
I think I've come to terms with a lot of things that have I've been battling against. Or maybe, it's not even that. Maybe I've just let go of caring about what people think, and instead embrace who I am, with them.
I've also accomplished one of my life-long bucket list goals. When I moved out to Los Angeles, I knew that I had wanted to do something big. I knew that I wanted to use the talent that I knew I had to create something special. I've always wanted to direct a film and submit it to a festival. That's it. That was the goal. It ended there.
Well, this year, LA Inc. (LA's Tourism Bureau) created a contest with NewFilmMakers to create a film promoting the Los Angeles. To my surprise, I (a) complete the project (b) submitted it (c) was selected as a finalist. I actually got to attend a red carpet event! It was amazing. It was surreal. It was insane.
You have dreams sometimes that you think are unattainable, and it's so strange when you actually obtain them, and then the dream goes beyond anything you've ever imagined. I'm so blessed to be so lucky. I'm sure there are many filmmakers are work their whole lives that wish to have their film viewed by many people. Somehow, I've managed to obtain that goal within my first real film. It makes me wonder if I should change careers. Should I do film? I don't know. All I know is that I have a passion for it, and I'd love to continue doing it one way or another.
Here's my film which is located on DiscoverLosAngeles.com.
I think I've come to terms with a lot of things that have I've been battling against. Or maybe, it's not even that. Maybe I've just let go of caring about what people think, and instead embrace who I am, with them.
I've also accomplished one of my life-long bucket list goals. When I moved out to Los Angeles, I knew that I had wanted to do something big. I knew that I wanted to use the talent that I knew I had to create something special. I've always wanted to direct a film and submit it to a festival. That's it. That was the goal. It ended there.
Well, this year, LA Inc. (LA's Tourism Bureau) created a contest with NewFilmMakers to create a film promoting the Los Angeles. To my surprise, I (a) complete the project (b) submitted it (c) was selected as a finalist. I actually got to attend a red carpet event! It was amazing. It was surreal. It was insane.
You have dreams sometimes that you think are unattainable, and it's so strange when you actually obtain them, and then the dream goes beyond anything you've ever imagined. I'm so blessed to be so lucky. I'm sure there are many filmmakers are work their whole lives that wish to have their film viewed by many people. Somehow, I've managed to obtain that goal within my first real film. It makes me wonder if I should change careers. Should I do film? I don't know. All I know is that I have a passion for it, and I'd love to continue doing it one way or another.
Here's my film which is located on DiscoverLosAngeles.com.
Friday, April 29, 2011
It's getting so difficult to have hope...
2 corinthians 16-18: therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed each day. for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A Glimpse of the End of the World...
Last week I had a sneak peak of the end of the world...
Folks, it's going to be crazy.
You'll be driving in the dark down a narrow, mountain road, just a normal night after skiing, when all of a sudden you come to a complete stop due to traffic. Your car won't be able to move for about an hour. Your curiosity will lead you to leave the car despite the scrutiny of your friends. It'll be nearly freezing outside; perhaps, snowing. There will be that silence in the air; you know, where the ice and snow crunches underneath your feet and vibrates through space for eternity. You head straight forward into the cold darkness. They'll be a certain peace and beauty about the world that is indescribable. Your wilderness solitude will soon be interrupted by dozens of other people leaving their cars to investigate. After you walk pass dozens of stationed vehicles, you finally reach a corner. The road wraps around a hill and weaves to the left. You almost slip after you the road becomes icy. You finally manage to slide down the narrow corner turn, when your eyes agape with astonishment. You finally realize the massive chaos that awaits; cars after cars crashed into one another--perplexed faces standing outside their cars waiting for somebody to help. Little do they know that the help their dreaming about isn't coming.
"Can you go through?" you ask a gentleman in a truck that's pulled over to the side of the road. "Yes, but you have to have chains on your wheels. There's just so much ice that it's too dangerous," the gentleman replies. You notice everybody's faces will be in complete bewilderment; scared to know fate. You finally come realization that your only options are to wait in your cold car the whole night or try to head back up the mountain--risking running into more ice. You start heading back up the mountain when you realize that the human population has more idiots that you had previously thought; more cars are flying by the parked cars and heading right towards the icy curve--only to end up crashing into the already parked cars. Idiots! There's even a huge plow truck that looks as if they're going to help everybody solve the problem, only to have to the same fate as the other village idiots.
You'll go back in the car only to get more frustrated and antsy with your bleak predicament. Your anxiety will make you go back outside to the chaotic corner; only to get more frustrated after you realize that nobody has any sense of order. The expression, "They're running like chickens with their heads caught off", couldn't be more appropriate. A sense of calm finally soothes through your body, and you'll realize that your career in event management is finally going to come into use. You realize that nobody is going to "save the day" from the entangled spiderweb of disaster, and you decide that it's time to take charge of the situation.
You'll go from car to car telling everybody that the road is too slick to drive through the middle, but if everybody started a caravan, using the side of the road (which there was snow to create enough traction. You'll have to stop some cars from driving forward onto the inevitable "slide of death". Slowly, but surely, everything will finally start to flow and become organized; cars will start to leave the chaotic mess.
Finally, your vehicle will be out of the dangerous icy corner, and you'll be able to leave--set free hands of the Mountain. It'll be 8 hour later, but you did it!
Folks, it's going to be crazy.
You'll be driving in the dark down a narrow, mountain road, just a normal night after skiing, when all of a sudden you come to a complete stop due to traffic. Your car won't be able to move for about an hour. Your curiosity will lead you to leave the car despite the scrutiny of your friends. It'll be nearly freezing outside; perhaps, snowing. There will be that silence in the air; you know, where the ice and snow crunches underneath your feet and vibrates through space for eternity. You head straight forward into the cold darkness. They'll be a certain peace and beauty about the world that is indescribable. Your wilderness solitude will soon be interrupted by dozens of other people leaving their cars to investigate. After you walk pass dozens of stationed vehicles, you finally reach a corner. The road wraps around a hill and weaves to the left. You almost slip after you the road becomes icy. You finally manage to slide down the narrow corner turn, when your eyes agape with astonishment. You finally realize the massive chaos that awaits; cars after cars crashed into one another--perplexed faces standing outside their cars waiting for somebody to help. Little do they know that the help their dreaming about isn't coming.
"Can you go through?" you ask a gentleman in a truck that's pulled over to the side of the road. "Yes, but you have to have chains on your wheels. There's just so much ice that it's too dangerous," the gentleman replies. You notice everybody's faces will be in complete bewilderment; scared to know fate. You finally come realization that your only options are to wait in your cold car the whole night or try to head back up the mountain--risking running into more ice. You start heading back up the mountain when you realize that the human population has more idiots that you had previously thought; more cars are flying by the parked cars and heading right towards the icy curve--only to end up crashing into the already parked cars. Idiots! There's even a huge plow truck that looks as if they're going to help everybody solve the problem, only to have to the same fate as the other village idiots.
You'll go back in the car only to get more frustrated and antsy with your bleak predicament. Your anxiety will make you go back outside to the chaotic corner; only to get more frustrated after you realize that nobody has any sense of order. The expression, "They're running like chickens with their heads caught off", couldn't be more appropriate. A sense of calm finally soothes through your body, and you'll realize that your career in event management is finally going to come into use. You realize that nobody is going to "save the day" from the entangled spiderweb of disaster, and you decide that it's time to take charge of the situation.
You'll go from car to car telling everybody that the road is too slick to drive through the middle, but if everybody started a caravan, using the side of the road (which there was snow to create enough traction. You'll have to stop some cars from driving forward onto the inevitable "slide of death". Slowly, but surely, everything will finally start to flow and become organized; cars will start to leave the chaotic mess.
Finally, your vehicle will be out of the dangerous icy corner, and you'll be able to leave--set free hands of the Mountain. It'll be 8 hour later, but you did it!
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010: Expectations Vs. Reality & Hoping for Better Things to Come
Everybody tells me that I would love the movie, 500 Days of Summer. Truth is, I have watched it, and I hate that movie. It's just way to real; I think it's because it's mirrored my life in so many ways. Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is; you know that one scene in the movie; Expectations vs. Reality? That whole scene was like the year 2010. This year just didn't reach my expectations. In reality, it wasn't all that horrible. It could have been far worse, but having something not reach your expectations, just, really sucks. At the beginning of this year, my roommate and I went on this awesome vacation, and I made a toast, "This is going to be the best year of my life!" Yeah, not so much!
(500) Days of Summer (Expectations vs. Reality)
My Expectations:
- Make More Money
- Get In A Relationship
- International Vacation
Reality:
- No New Relationship
- No More Money
- My Uncle Passed Away
- No International Vacation
However, you have to have bad years to have better ones, right? I can't be TOO disappointed with this year. I didn't lose my job. I'm still living in a great city. I moved closer to the beach. Those are all good things!!
My uncle passed away while I was visiting Texas this Christmas; it was very bitter/sweet. I was very glad that I got to be by my Dad's side while he was mourning. It's weird how I had this gut feeling that my uncle would pass away while I was visiting. We already had known he had stage 4 bone cancer, but nobody knew exactly when he'd pass. I'm very happy that I got to see him before he passed; My Dad asked him to squeeze his hand if he knew I was in the room, and he did. It's as if we said goodbye.
Despite the tragic loss, at the funeral reception, I sat next to these random people. This one gentleman leans over to me and says, "Are you Eddie's boy?" Turns out, the people I sat right next to were the family that I've been dying to discover. I never met my grandma (my Dad's Mother) because she died when my Dad was in high school, and I've never met that side of the family (for some reason of another). My Dad's aunt and her husband were just as ecstatic and I to meet each other. It really did feel like I was destined to sit there. She also told me of my 200 relatives that live in San Bernardino--an hour away from where I live in Los Angeles! She got my information and told me that she'd put all of us in contact with eachother! I'm so happy. One of my dreams is to make a documentary about my ancestry, and for some reason, I think I want to begin with this side of the family, since it's a mystery.
I hope this is a sign of good things to come with the new year. I fresh new start. A new beginning. Hello 2011...I'm ready.
(500) Days of Summer (Expectations vs. Reality)
My Expectations:
- Make More Money
- Get In A Relationship
- International Vacation
Reality:
- No New Relationship
- No More Money
- My Uncle Passed Away
- No International Vacation
However, you have to have bad years to have better ones, right? I can't be TOO disappointed with this year. I didn't lose my job. I'm still living in a great city. I moved closer to the beach. Those are all good things!!
My uncle passed away while I was visiting Texas this Christmas; it was very bitter/sweet. I was very glad that I got to be by my Dad's side while he was mourning. It's weird how I had this gut feeling that my uncle would pass away while I was visiting. We already had known he had stage 4 bone cancer, but nobody knew exactly when he'd pass. I'm very happy that I got to see him before he passed; My Dad asked him to squeeze his hand if he knew I was in the room, and he did. It's as if we said goodbye.
Despite the tragic loss, at the funeral reception, I sat next to these random people. This one gentleman leans over to me and says, "Are you Eddie's boy?" Turns out, the people I sat right next to were the family that I've been dying to discover. I never met my grandma (my Dad's Mother) because she died when my Dad was in high school, and I've never met that side of the family (for some reason of another). My Dad's aunt and her husband were just as ecstatic and I to meet each other. It really did feel like I was destined to sit there. She also told me of my 200 relatives that live in San Bernardino--an hour away from where I live in Los Angeles! She got my information and told me that she'd put all of us in contact with eachother! I'm so happy. One of my dreams is to make a documentary about my ancestry, and for some reason, I think I want to begin with this side of the family, since it's a mystery.
I hope this is a sign of good things to come with the new year. I fresh new start. A new beginning. Hello 2011...I'm ready.
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